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Friday, January 31, 2014

Move over Miss Manners, I'm back in town.

I've never been considered anal retentive. I'm pretty much a "go with the flow" kinda gal. I'm not very organized, and have never really minded a little dust on my furniture. I'm not a slob or anything. I just believe there are more important things to life than using a toothbrush to clean my floors.

That said, I have two contradictions to my normal laissez-faire attitude. I'm a self proclaimed foodie as I've mentioned before, so I can't stand a messy kitchen. My biggest pet peeve being the kitchen sink. I prefer to not have dishes left in the sink, but for all that is holy, rinse your damn dishes! Between stuck on cereal and greasy frying pans, I begin having convulsions. I also demand that once a dish has been properly rinsed or pre-washed, that all dirty dishes are put in ONE side of the sink. This allows for easy washing and or loading of dishes.

The second, yet MOST important contradiction to my relaxed body and spirit is the bathroom. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have quirks. Some might call me a nazi, whatever.

First of all, I'm going to broach the top two biggest arguments regarding the bathroom. Number one being the lifting and lowering the lid thing. Have you people all gone mad? When I walk into your bathroom for the first time, that last thing I want to see is your nasty ass toilet water staring at me. It's also a great compromise, Guys aren't solely responsible for it all now. If you lower the seat AND the top lid, not only does your bathroom look cleaner, everybody does their part when closing the lid. See? That was simple.

The second biggest argument has been made fun of lately on television. It's the never ending game of placing the roll facing over, or under. Everyone has their favorite, but again, I'm going to tell you why I'm right. The answer is, the roll should be faced over. Simple logistics proves that it's easier to find the next square without spinning the roll out of control and covering the floor with overpriced two-ply.

Theses next few things are not deal breakers, but I think they should be. Be respectful of the next person coming in after you. Give them a courtesy flush, light a candle, light a match, but for God's sake, make sure you flush it!!!

I live with teenagers and I volunteer with a couple dozen kindergarteners. I've learned this: ALL CHILDREN ARE VILE AND REPULSIVE. They will not wash their hands no matter how many times you tell them, you must physically get up and watch them perform their amazing feats of cleanliness.

Oh, and one more thought before you go? You should read this article because I guarantee you're pooping wrong too.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19121_7-basic-things-you-wont-believe-youre-all-doing-wrong.html



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