So moving to the west side of Phoenix has its drawbacks. First off, if you think being "west" of the desert saves you ANY grief from the heat; you are DEAD wrong. It DOES save you a little from the crime, but that's about it. But, don't forget to add in the obnoxious noise that comes from the Air Force Base right down the road. An atomic bomb explosion has nothing on the fifty fricking jets that routinely fly directly over my house. I may be able to sue the military for hearing loss. I used to actually work with the aircraft here in Phoenix, but I don't remember there being so much night flying going on! I can't get to sleep before midnight. Since when do these government-paid jack-offs work past eight pm??? I'm sorry, since when does anybody working for the government actually work?!?! I got paid to sit on my softer side 90% of the time...WTF?
So anyway, I didn't bring you here for that... I have decided that the world's problems can all be solved by a little helium. Don't laugh, I'm serious. If my kids can get along by just sucking down a little bit of helium from a birthday balloon, why not??? I say we need to provide a little helium to ALL foriegn diplomats, and a LOT of helium to our stupid representatives (especially Obama) then life would be a hell of a lot easier. Because seriously, how pissed can you be at someone who sounds like Mickey Mouse?!?!? I've thought this out; done the math and everything. It would cost the taxpayers next to nothing to achieve world peace with my plan. Damn, I rock. Or, maybe that's what I get from too much intake of helium... Oh, if you could hear me now...
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